Sunday, 11 November 2012

Walk round and smell the coffee II



WHAT A DELICIOUS SMELL OF COFFEE! How often has this thought flashed through your mind as you walked down the street? For never was there a fresher, more appetising smell  than that of freshly roasted, freshly ground coffee. Coffee for breakfast - delicious, fragrant,  whether it accompanies rolls, or bacon and eggs. After the midday meal, helping your digestion;  the perfect accompaniment to the evening meal,  mellowing the day's memories, reviving flagging  energies and brain. Magical Coffee! And here you can obtain the choicest Coffee  to suit your every need - carefully and expertly blended,  from the finest crops of the world, freshly roasted,  freshly ground, ready for your enjoyment.  at 2/4 lb Note the address:  Herbert G. Took The Best Market 18, Bridge Street, Halesworth Phone 95
1941 advertisement




After my perambulation around Southwold to audit the range of coffee vendors that might have to compete with the Costa coffee chain expected to open there, (opened in Feb 2013) I thought in fairness I should also have a look at closer to home in Halesworth.

Once again this is a purely subjective personal opinion of how tempting the coffee vendors in Halesworth's Thoroughfare and Market Place are to customers in the same food sector as Pret A Manger, EAT, Caffe Nero or Costa.

I did not undertake a taste test of their wares but I went to see how they presented their offer with an eye that the customer may have young children or be elderly and so have concerns about accessibility. Given that Halesworth is enthusiastically involved in the Mary Portas project, I hope these comments and any criticism felt is taken in the spirit it is intended.

If there are any errors in this I welcome additions and corrections but this is based on what information was available in the field.



opening hours

I made the chart above from the visible information of the hours of operation of places that obviously serve a decent coffee. Like many small towns, there isn't much to do in Halesworth in the evenings apart from go into the pubs and restaurants, though at one time Halesworth boasted a cinema and a pool hall. The New Cut Arts Centre has been a real boon as it offers an inexpensive non-alcoholic alternative to pub entertainment. The recent opening of the Bay Tree Bistro and Number 10 has extended the range of dining choices too. The Angel has a covered courtyard space if you don't want to go to a bar or out for a meal in the evening.

During the day in the Thoroughfare a visitor has a choice of seven establishments. In the Market Place there are another two establishments and a little further way, the Co-op supermarket has a coffee shop as well.

The Thoroughfare

In the approaches to the pedestrianised Thoroughfare from the car park (which a campaign by local people recently has won free parking) several establishments have signboards but I think these contribute to visual clutter and are potential hazards for pedestrians, cyclists and buggies. It might be a idea for the town's Portas Group to provide a fingerpost board pointing to all the food and drink establishments at the car park exit? 

Coffee Shops

In the midst of the Thoroughfare the White Hart Pub is well placed to capture the pedestrian traffic passing its door. At the time of writing, its tied brewer Adnams was advertising this tenancy saying "the White Hart successfully balances the needs of both drinkers and diners." That's an honest assessment. It remains open and is popular. I didn't find an official website for it. Comments on social media rate highly its steak and mushroom sandwiches.


The White Hart - pub meals

Baytree Bistro - smart but not stiff, morning coffee, evening bistro
In July 2013 with much regret and much disappointment the Bay Tree Bistro announced its closure. Their lease was up for renewal and while its terms were reasonable, the general trend of declining footfall and strong competition did not give the proprietor's the confidence to continue. While the Bay Tree could hold its own for quality, their margins were probably too slim to survive offering such quality with the opening of another two restaurants in the town. An increasingly crowded marketplace ought to be a case study for the benefits of a free-market, sometimes the customer doesn't always win.

The Bay Tree Bistro occupies one of the oldest buildings in Halesworth and is reputed to be haunted. It stays open late on Wednesdays to Saturdays but shuts at 5 pm on Monday and Tuesday. Closing time really depends on demand, the proprietor Kim tells me. Follow @baytreebistro on twitter for news. The exterior is so attractive it might give the impression that its too smart for a casual coffee unless you see customers sitting in the window seats. It often has themed events or live music in the evenings and has grown to become one of the social centres of the town. The loo is via a narrow staircase but otherwise this ancient building doesn't have major disability access issues. 



Bridge St Cafe - big inside and popular with walkers and cyclists, catches the breakfast crowd
The Bridge Street Cafe is one of the earliest opening eating places in the Thoroughfare and it is popular as a breakfast and lunch rendezvous with walkers and cyclists coming in for meals prepared by its second generation proprietor Annabelle who has taken its menu a notch or two up from the days of yore. The smallish windows make it hard to pitch its wares but there are signboards outside. No official website. Telephone 01986 873 236


Cafe Frapa - casual coffee shop
New arrival Cafe Frapa has taken over a space which has been in the recent past a furniture shop, a cafe/art gallery and historically this was the haberdashers store. It's ideally suited to be coffee shop/art gallery again. The full length curved windows of its storefront (which is listed) makes it easy to see the barista coffee, snacks and desserts on offer eat in or to go. It is easy to access and kid friendly. They serve local Paddy & Scott's coffee. Like The Cut, it has wi-fi too. They have a Facebook page.

Edwards - restaurant/coffee shop and home made pastries too
Edwards Restaurant only has a narrow frontage to pitch its traditional home-cooked food made with local ingredients but they've done their best to tempt customers (it is much bigger inside than it looks). Tripadvisor's good reviews reflect personal attention Karen and Kevin give each customer. They can serve any drink to take away whether filter coffee, lattes and cappuccinos, hot chocolate, frappĂ©, milk shakes and tea. It is kid and access friendly. Follow on twitter for special offers and local gossip at @karen4prime

Focus - deli, gift shop, organic grocer, health foods and coffee bar
Focus Organic is a Halesworth institution. Some people tell me it's what first attracted them to the town, some tell me it's what prevents them leaving as it is a social club for people with wider views than traditionally found in Suffolk.

The barista station near the front window and the customers sitting outside makes the artisanal coffee offer obvious though the seating offer is only outside. It has a wide range of savoury and sweet deli items too. There is a gift shop at the back of the store with a space-time wormhole into which pocket money and spare time vanish. If you need to occupy children with pocket-money, next to the Bay Tree is an independent toy shop which local celebrity Emma Freud rated as one of her top ten reasons to live in Suffolk, and described the area around her home in nearby Walberswick her 'foodie heaven'. 

It is evident from the touches like stained glass, well displayed merchandise and the olde-worlde-while-contemporary feel overall that the proprietors have a great deal of aesthetic sensibility and recognise the value of such attention to detail.


Angel Hotel - a bar, restaurant and courtyard cafe cover all the bases
The Angel Hotel is an old coaching inn with a popular bar, restaurant and covered courtyard area. While its coffee offer isn't quite as obvious as other places, the pizza menu signs inform the passer-by that it offers more than pub fare. The local business association hold regular breakfasts here and on Friday nights the bar is packed with mate-hunting young people. The covered courtyard is a pleasant place to have coffee and a snack without taking children into the bar.

Market Place

Pinky's - barista cafe and poetry venue 

At first glance Pinky's might appear not to be in the artisanal coffee sector but it has a barista range and does a good range of home-cooked meals and snacks. Perhaps some window lettering of 'cafe' would help it catch the passing vehicle traffic as it faces a junction. The entrance has a step down so its interior is lower than the street level but it is spacious inside. The food cabinets and counter would be more obvious if the blinds were kept open and the windows weren't cluttered with posters at eye-level - though that's a welcome amenity. It often stays open longer than the hours on the door if there are enough customers or the town is busy with an event. It is also the venue for regular poetry evenings. No website. Telephone 01986 874 243

Number 10 - upmarket dining but serves coffees and cakes all day
Number 10 closed in March 2013. The premises have now become Tilly's, formerly a Southwold institution. Number 10 isn't in the most ideal position to catch the eye of pedestrians or passing road traffic but it has a commanding presence in the town's Market Place, which does have a weekly Wednesday market. They serve good coffee and cakes and cream teas through the day as well as lunch and dinner. Proprietor Sam Goodbourne has greatly expanded Halesworth's dining offer with local produce and has refurbished an important building that was utterly wasted as a pet shop. This restaurant may be the anchor the Market Place needs to develop a hub for good local food and entertainment. There are a couple of restaurant properties nearby that would be ideal for redevelopment.


The Cut - art gallery, theatre, music, food, drink and good coffee


Halesworth's community arts centre The Cut is also in a relatively poor position to attract passing foot and car traffic but it does try by posters and a sign board and leaflets to get train passengers at the nearby station. It is the only place in Halesworth with both good coffee and wi-fi and comfortable sofas so gets my recommendation at every opportunity for a social or business meeting. If there is an event on in the evening the cafe will stay open to the interval. There is a pay car park a few yards away.

In summary, in my opinion, the casual social coffee drinker on a budget is very welcome in Halesworth and is assured satisfaction. All the establishments make a clear offer of their product, all seem to be child friendly and there are very few access issues. Coffee drinkers around here don't go for much barista art but if the demand was there, I am sure Halesworth's coffee shops could meet it.


hwww.beyondthebean.com

Local coffee

Although the beans have to travel many food-miles, there are at least four five local coffee roasters and blenders in Suffolk who supply local establishments and employ local people, including one right in Halesworth. Please patronise them and ask your vendor where your coffee comes from.

Freshpac Ltd
freshpac.co.uk
@FreshpacSales
founded 30 years ago by Gerald & Queenie Salter in Halesworth

Deepmills Coffee
www.deepmills.co.uk
@deepmillscoffee
Jonathan Draycott & Mary Mummery in Melton

Suffolk Coffee Company
www.thesuffolkcoffeecompany.co.uk
@suffolkcoffee
Christopher Rayner-Green in Peasenhall

Paddy & Scott's
www.paddyandscotts.co.uk
@PaddyandScotts
Paddy Bishopp and Scott Russell in Earl Soham



Thistledown Cottage
www.thistledowncottagecoffee.co.uk
@nevertocaffiena
Gary Rothwell in Broome near Eye

The future

Tourism marketing logo

Halesworth prides itself that it is still a working market town. There is a weekly market and regular home-produce markets. There is a very good range of independent shops with high quality butchers, greengrocers, delicatessens, hardware and most other services available but they face competition from the major supermarkets nearby. A shop selling sporting goods, phones and cameras recently closed because it couldn't compete with the supermarkets in Beccles and Saxmundham.  It appears that a logo was created to market Halesworth and the others in the Blyth Valley with a brand identity but I couldn't find its author online and it certainly isn't applied with any consistency. An attractive directory of local food was recently published highlighting the comprehensive range and quality of what's produced within ten miles of the town, positioning Halesworth clearly as a centre for quality food.


Tourism promotion pitched at food lovers

Though on the 'wrong' side of the A12 for tourist traffic, the train station offers visitors access to Southwold and the coast with a bus connection. Halesworth is also a popular base for cycling holidays, being surrounded by a network of quiet routes to the coast and many excellent rural pubs. There is a volunteer-run bus service offering a daily 'Hoppa' service around the town and to nearby villages. Most of the housing is still occupied by local people but second-homers are gradually discovering the area. There are two large industrial estates and several creative businesses and international charities based in the town and a great number of creative home-workers and artists enriching the town's life and filling several art galleries.


Halesworth in Transition's food directory

I have considered it would be worthwhile for the town to promote itself as a place for small conferences and social or business meetings, along with the retail offer in the town, so I have encouraged various places that have meeting facilities, such as projectors, wi-fi and conference rooms, to produce a community event directory. The number of places for coffee or lunch would also be worth including in this directory. However some local organisations need to work together. While the town council can still be bullied into putting up plastic bunting when the community had made its own, many people's imagination and energy is not forthcoming.

With the Latitude Festival and the High Tide theatre festival and its own month-long arts festival as regular fixtures, although Gig in the Park fell victim to rising ancillary costs, in the long term Halesworth is likely to see more coffee drinking bohemians drawn to the town. It may have the potential to become another Totnes or Stroud, where traditional agricultural enterprise mixes with creative ones and invigorates a declining community.

I reckon as the town's footfall is not high enough for Costa's model, the present coffee shops can breath easy for now. The biggest threat to its independent shops would be another supermarket in the town. So far Halesworth has been able to prevent the incursion of Tesco who have purchased a large site next to the current supermarket and while local opposition has been strong and planning permission was refused at the last appeal, Tesco and some local people keen to profit from the situation haven't yet given up.

Other outlets

There are several other Halesworth food outlets which don't make an offer of artisanal coffee:

The Seashell - fish & chips
The Swan - live music, sports pub
Raiputh - Indian restaurant
Singtom Neeyom - Thai restaurant
Halesworth Fish & Chip Shop - take-away
Golden House - Chinese take-away
Hong Kong - Chinese take-away
Istanbul  - burgers, pizza and kebabs take-away
In the carpark of Ridgeons is a snack bar that is open from 7 am.

A wide range of other goods and services are listed on the Halesworth website







Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Walk round and smell the coffee...




Southwold Beach

Southwold is one of England's favourite seaside resorts. Its special character stems from the informal groupings of houses around a series of pleasant greens. Add small museums, pubs and restaurants serving the locally brewed Adnams beer, a sand and shingle beach and a feeling that 'nothing's changed for years' and the appeal is irresistible.    Suffolk County Council Tourism Guide 1999~2012



At getting prominence in the national media, Southwold has always punched above its weight. This coastal Suffolk town with a dwindling year-round population that recently slipped under a thousand souls has greatly benefited from the presence of the brewer Adnams in the town. Since 2003 their slogan 'Beer From the Coast' (now like many residents in retirement) and other marketing has used the iconography of Southwold's beaches, fishing boats and lighthouse for its brand identity. The spending power of the brewer plugging its beer has made the Southwold and Adnams name and image synonymous and the envy of any resort with a promotion budget limited by its precept.


Chris Wormell for Adnams
Appearances in television's 'Upstairs, Downstairs' in the 1970's have also helped while being popular with celebrities and media types for second homes has ensured the news stories of the astronomical prices of its colourful beach huts have become August space-filling perennials. Under this spotlight, the escapades of the town council and prominent residents in resisting change whilst the developments to rebuild the seaside pier, the retro-cinema and plans to revive a steam railway that were favoured have built for Southwold a reputation as a bastion against progress or to put it more kindly; a place where essential values are preserved.



Now Southwold has been getting a lot of press lately for its resistance to the plans of the coffee shop chain Costa to open a branch in its high street. If you don't know; Costa by its branding and store design clearly positions itself in the fast-serving casual eat-in and take-out market competing with Pret A Manger, Starbucks, Cafe Nero and EAT in serving tea, coffee, hot chocolate, pastries, cakes and sandwiches.

There's no doubt high street retailing is in trouble these days, a victim of another industrial revolution, just as the buggy whip maker was dispensed with by the automobilist. Amazon and other online retailers have killed off small independent book stores and big-box retailers - once the scourge of small shops - have become victims of 'showrooming' consumers too. The retailing pundits advise fighting back with services that cannot be bought on-line and urge retailers to move into an experience economy, one where customers buy an overall experience and attributes of the experience provide benefits, beyond product and service benefits.



weekday hours compared

Offering an 'experience' of a bygone England is Southwold's stock in trade, though time has not actually stood still here as many icons of its old-world atmosphere are actually a re-enactment. New traditions have been invented and old traditions have disappeared. It's normal entropy.

The townspeople grumbled when Tesco Metro and WH Smith opened branches (the latter filling the void of losing two independent book shops) and clothing boutique chains Aubin & Wills and Fat Face arrived without a murmur but the populace drew a line in the sand (or shingle) when the chain with over 1300 branches acquired premises in June.

Instead of questioning who was the local property owner who sold them down river or asking local estate agents, builders or architects not to facilitate Costa's presence (naturally that would affect local people's livelihoods), public anger was channelled away from the collaborators towards Waveney District Council's planning committee who were described as a rotten noisome corpse when they proved useless to prevent it. I too have also found it brings on opprobrium to question the arguments or motives of the Costa opponents but if they cannot stand my simple examination, they certainly won't stand up to Costa.

I posit that Costa know a good thing when they see it. Though trading conditions for many kinds of business in Southwold are difficult because Summer peaks have to cover Winter troughs and I am told landlords demand a stiff premium in Southwold. A rent of £80,000 p.a. was quoted for one shop and 72 High Street, one half of the contested Costa site, was advertised at £52,250 p.a. But lately Southwold has garnered enough colour supplement exposure to be aspired to by the lower orders that it now gets mentioned in Coronation Street's story lines. Costa must be confident they can capture a slice of the market of thirsty visitors.

According to independent research consultancy Allegra Strategies: 1 in 10 UK adults are now visiting coffee shops daily and the UK sales are predicted reach £3.2 billion by 2015. Coffee will continue to be seen an affordable treat and provide a much needed indulgence for consumers during challenging economic times. Meeting a friend for coffee or getting a cup to-go cannot yet be delivered on-line nor do consumers drive to out of town stores just for a cup of coffee.

One line of reasoning the Southwold Costa objectors have taken is there are enough coffee shops already. They claimed there are 20 food and drink outlets in the centre and 11 on the outskirts that represent almost a quarter of the total number of ground-floor business premises in the town.

“It’s not because it’s some garish chain; it’s because we already have more than enough places to get a hot drink,” Robert Adey, owner of Trinity’s Tea Rooms was widely reported as saying. “If someone had suggested a fish and chip shop, for example, that would be different as we only have one."

Well, I know there are two places I go for fish and chips in Southwold, plus all the pubs who do fish and chips, which rather undermines this position. And while there may be plenty of food and drink on sale, it may not be good coffee or sold in a casual unhurried atmosphere where you can read the papers, log on to update your blog and so on, which is pretty much what Costa offers.

When I heard there was a glut of coffee shops in Southwold I immediately doubted it. So last Friday morning between 9.30 and 10 am, as I had other business in Southwold, I took a perambulation to see what its coffee shops have to offer and how they might serve my needs and how Costa's retail "offer" (see footer) competes or fits into the local market. At that time I wasn't aware that the Southwold and Reydon Society had also compiled a survey of Southwold's coffee shops but have noted discrepancies between us.



70 & 72 High Street. Acquired by Gentian to become 50 seat Costa Coffee
In this I tried to adopt the mindset of a tourist on a budget looking for a cup of coffee to go (perhaps for sitting on the seafront with the papers) and imagined taking young children or an elderly parent (like I do these days) which brings a need for constant vigilance on access and limited walking distance. I asked myself: what refreshment would such a person arriving in Southwold on their bicycle or on foot by bus or car for the day find here? These are my entirely subjective and personal impressions of what I found Southwold offers in several sectors:

Pub coffee

Like all of Southwold's pubs The Kings Head is an Adnams house. It has a restaurant room facing onto the High Street which is visible when arriving at the bus stop. In the morning of my visit the restaurant looked dark and uninviting. A sign on the door said 'Fire Exit Keep Clear' which made me reconsider: is this the proper front door or not? It doesn't seem be going for the take-away coffee market and whilst all the pubs are very presentable, the offer from them is rather more about food and alcohol and, as this is an old building with narrow doors and varied levels, if I had children in a pushchair with me or my mother in law, I'd probably not go in.

The Lord Nelson menu says it serves coffee but has several rules about children posted outside so this is not one for the buggy brigade. The Red Lion had outside a old Kenco Coffee sign visible from the Market Place. The brand values I associate with Kenco gives the impression that such places serve drip or instant coffee. That actually might suit the 'typical' Southwold resident more, as there is an age gap in coffee drinking. According to a YouGov poll, the over-55s are more likely to drink instant coffee than 18 to 24-year-olds, who prefer cappuccino and lattes.

Hotel coffee

At first I left the Blyth Hotel out of my perambulation because it was out of the area I consider the tourist 'heart' of Southwold High Street and the Southwold and Reydon Society also didn't count it either. Visitors coming by bus will have passed this place a way back. It has tables and chairs outside but it doesn't look like a place to pop in for a java to go. However, from past experience and its present appearance, it looks like a nice place to meet someone for a coffee without a struggle to park.

Similarly Sutherland House, The Swan and The Crown have imposing façades that suggest fine dining, though the outside tables and chairs outside hint at a more casual menu as well but their linen table clothes don't shout casual coffee shop experience or prices. According to the SRS the Sutherland doesn't do take away but the other pubs and restaurants do.

Sit-down coffee

The Adnams Cafe is in the back of Adnams flagship Cellar and Kitchen store with only its signage visible from the High Street so curiosity is required to venture inside. It is a very pleasant space, there are several well designed seating areas and a patio but there weren't any 'to-go' cups stacked by the barista station so I count it as sit down sort of place but SRS say it does do to-go.

For presenting itself as a fancy tea-shop, Tilly's gets top marks but linen table cloths and the compact front of house gave me the impression that ordering to-go would probably meant you were standing in the way of the serving staff. SRS says it doesn't do to-go anyway. Though it has outdoor areas as well, If I went inside with kids and a buggy, I think tut-tutting would ensue (postscript: In March 2013 Tilly's announced that it would close in Southwold and in July reopened in Halesworth taking over the premises of Number 10).

The Lighthouse wasn't open during my visit. The menu gives the impression it is more an eat-in establishment capturing the lunchtime and dinner crowd and it probably doesn't compete directly with its neighbour though the SRS counts it as a to-go. Similarly, though Coasters is very attractive and prominently displays several awards, it again as a 'licensed restuarant' seemed a bit 'up-market' to pop in for a coffee to go. The Beaches and Cream take-away is a couple of doors away but this establishment wasn't counted by the SRS.

Eat-in/Take-away coffee

Trinity's Cafe is bright and open plan tea room on the High Street with big windows so you can see inside what it offers. It wasn't open when I passed it (it opens at 10 am) but it was obvious that it wasn't a fussy sort of place, access for the young or old would be easy and you could see it had a barista station and to-go cups. It is probably very popular.

The steamed up windows and a queue of customers (when other places were closed) and the fancy bread in the window of Fresh Bite promised satisfaction but it did not advertise it served artisanal coffee. The steps and the queue put me off from venturing inside just to ask if they served cappuccinos though I would head straight in for cakes or bread. SRS says it does to-go. Update March 2013: Fresh Bite has reportedly closed.

The promise of the bright and welcoming frontage of Black Olive was explicit: this is a delicatessen with a range of savoury goods. A obvious barista range, bean grinders, blenders and stacks of to-go cups and speciality coffee for sale removed any doubts that a coffee to-go would be prepared with the same dedication as they give to the rest of their cuisine. There is no eat-in.

I missed Squiers the first time around my perambulation. A Southwold institution, I always thought it was a sweet shop and I have purchased sweets from there many times but I am informed by a local and its website they also serve teas and coffee to go. There is a small sign above the shop front saying 'Morning Coffee'. Obviously that failed to make an impression on me. When you venture inside the 350 year old building you find a cozy tea room (capacity 28) with beamed ceilings and an inglelnook. The website doesn't say if it will serves drinks to-go outside of its restaurant hours that are limited to 12 - 2 pm.

On the Market Place the Buckenham coffee shop was signed as such but was closed though I have visited it before. It is down some stairs which makes it off limits to the buggy brigade. You can't tell from the outside if it serves coffee to-go until the staff put the chalk boards up on the railings when it opens though several photographs show they do. I am told by a local resident that this place was popular with many older people in Reydon who would ride the bus to shop in the Co-op and then meet their friends here. Now that the bus cannot go along the High Street, those customers take the bus to Beccles and meet in the Tesco or Morrison's coffee shop. It seems Southwold Town Council is just as capable of killing trade for its establishments as Costa could while dismissing evidence as anecdotal while basing their decisions with nothing more than other anecdotes.

Just about visible off the Market Place is Munchies. The signage and noise of the barista's range plainly promises servings of good coffee and sandwiches to-go or eat-in and I would imagine it catches a bit of footfall of people heading to the beach for the day with the papers. On the other side of the Market Place is Queen Street and Beaches & Cream there was also closed on my perambulation. I actually failed to notice this establishment was a coffee shop (so did SRS) but its website says it serves a wide range of coffee to-go as well as ice cream.

Adnams Cellar & Kitchen - you can just make out 'cafe' under the awning

Buckenham - in a basement though when boards up says 'take away'. 

The Crown - lovely for lunch or a pint but not exactly casual

Fresh Bite - tasty bread and cakes but no sign of a barista

Kings Head - where is the entrance?


Munchies - bingo, the ideal of a casual coffee shop


Nelson - off the track, no kids in the bar


Black Olive - coffee jackpot but only to go

Sutherland - not morning people

Swan - so charming you won't go in without a tie

Tillys - now closing

Trinity's - all three beans in a row

Coasters - not for lounging with a laptop?
I didn't go as far as down the stairs beyond the Lord Nelson to the sea-front to find Susies Beach Hut but I would consider this kiosk is not competing for for customers with establishments on the High Street. The SRS counted it though it is outside the DM01 designated area. SRS say it doesn't serve to-go.

I missed out of my survey Mark's Fish Shop (also outside of DM01) and the Farmhouse Bakery and Hutson's the butchers. It wasn't apparent to this casual pedestrian that any of these places served coffee. The Southwold and Reydon Society survey hasn't specified what kind of coffee these establishments serve; they could be counting instant granules dumped in a styrofoam cup as equals of an artisanal fresh roasted cappuccino. Most of these establishments make no mention of serving coffee on their websites or in local directories which today's wired traveller might casually browse on their smartphones. The Southwold Chamber of Commerce only lists two cafes in its guide that visitors pick up.





In my perambulation I found 19 establishments that I could identify as likely serving coffee in the vicinity of the High Street but not all were open in that morning nor fit my needs or wants. Only two pubs open before ten and o
nly two of the four restaurants open before lunchtime, three close during the afternoon and all make exhortations to book in the evenings so I doubt they'd entertain a casual coffee drinker at peak times. By 5.30 most of the establishments serving any hot drinks have closed leaving only eight open with only one of them, the fish and chip shop, in the casual dining category. At 9.30 am I had only found four establishments that were serving good coffee in a casual surroundings but only one of them, Munchies, made that offer obvious to the customer on the street. It's no wonder chains succeed by the power of their brand.

Addendum: The Two Magpies Bakery opened on 3/4/13 in the high street offering artisan breads and coffee.

Therefore the saturation argument plainly, ahem, doesn't hold water. Costa does not offer linen table cloths, dainties on cake stands or the ambiance of the classic English tea room which Southwold has an abundance of. A trawl through Trip Advisor shows some of these outlets could also do better at customer service, though I've never encountered myself rude or condescending service that has been claimed. I note that a commenter on the EADT website also rips the SRS survey to shreds.

The variety of Southwold's coffee market is like a microcosm of Britain before the arrival of Starbucks in the 1990's when a coffee shop visit was a hit and miss affair. The many Italian establishments famous in Soho and the 'Milk' bars of the fifties and sixties were disappearing under fast-food franchises. The only social space on the high street apart from the pub was the greasy spoon where unless you drank tea, your coffee was instant muck but health awareness was increasing the demand for alcohol-free and smoke-free environments and less greasy snacks. The Seattle Coffee Co paved the way reaching 50 stores before Starbucks bought it so it could hit the ground running. Now we are seeing university bars being shut to be replaced by coffee shops. While the chains have 5,000 shops in the UK, there are 6,000 independents and they too are benefiting from a rising coffee culture.


There is a case for saying Southwold needs more coffee shops as these can generate footfall in town centres. There is a symbiosis between shops and cafes: if there is a good retail offer in a town, shoppers will visit and when their feet are tired, they will stop in for a coffee and meet friends and are then more likely to return. Similarly, if there is a good offer of 'social places', they will visit them and may be tempted to shop for goods and services nearby but neither is much good without the other. Costa has several corporate franchise partners such as Next Home + Garden offering Costa coffee shops within their stores.




Four very recent shop sales were all bought by one developer
“High quality independent coffee shops are fuelling consumer demand and driving the branded coffee shop sector to increase focus on unique interiors and improved brewing methods within a wider, more artisanal coffee offer. This focus on quality in all areas can only continue to drive a thriving industry.” says Jeffrey Young, managing director of Allegra.

Whilst large chains have advantages on costs because of their scale, the independents can be more flexible and agile and get to know their customer. I don't know them personally but I know the owner of Munchies is a local person married to the owner of a local wine shop so I know the pounds I spend in there will then go out the door to local people who work there. It might be an idea for Southwold to consider what towns like Brixton, Lewes, Stroud, Bristol and Totnes (incidentally all except Totnes have chain and independent coffee shops) have done and establish a Southwold 'pound' to keep the spending local.

The other line of reasoning taken by the objectors is that the presence of Costa undermines local businesses. Guy Mitchell, chairman of the chamber of trade, and Michael Rowan-Robinson, chairman of the Southwold and Reydon Society jointly said “[We] will be opposing this... which we believe poses a very real threat to the unique character of Southwold High Street and to the viability of other local shops."


Michael Palin
Although one local blogger called this reasoning "babyishly emotive", I, like the prominent Southwoldian Michael Palin, am all for preserving Southwold's unique visual character but that is not what I am questioning here. In fact, Mr. Palin's comments were about preserving Southwold's architecture and were hijacked by the anti Costa campaigners to insinuate he also supported their cause.

I can't find an economist or a politician except on the far right lately reasoning for economic protectionism unless we have a Soviet planned economy. Only in the village of Laycock which is owned by the National Trust could such control be exerted. Protectionism props up failure and inefficiency and stifles innovation. The British Independent Retailers Association doesn't advocate protectionism; it knows you cannot stop people voting with their feet. It suggests that retailers smarten up their shops, revitalise their products, train their staff to treat customers fairly, and encourage customers to 'click and collect'. The biggest threat it sees are not chains but the three Ps - planning, parking and property taxes.


Revision 29.3.13
report of Tilly's closure 29.3.13

The closure of Tilly's Tea Room has been reported in the Lowestoft Journal where the owner blames the chains moving into Southwold for forcing up the cost of premises. The terms the landlord offered at her renewal required a 10 year lease, and given that she was "on the wrong side of 50", she decided to close instead. The statement is a whip on the spinning top of "all chains bad" mantra of the #shoplocal activists but if an less-ethical business A will pay a higher rent than a more-ethical biz B; surely it's the landlord's ethics that should be challenged too and ultimately blamed for letting to A. Offering temptation of selfish gain is one sin, yielding to it is another.


Hard to believe but there is deprivation in Southwold
George Orwell's house in Southwold
In France minimum pricing laws were introduced to protect independent booksellers so that sellers can't discount more than 5% on the price printed on the book. With their lower costs, the chains are gifted more of a profit margin and it was said by free-market advocates (though consider they were backed by Amazon) that it leads more slow-selling books being pulped. If Southwold was to establish a minimum price for a cup coffee, it would drive many of the shops to the wall and wouldn't make the slightest difference to Costa. What has been more effective though in help bookshops thrive in France and the United States (who aver price protection) was the designation of a specific bookshop zoning in town planning. Naturally, Costa would be entitled to open in a space zoned for a coffee shop.

People have demanded that chains should be prevented from trading in Southwold as they dilute Southwold's uniqueness and apartness from any other towns. However, that first begs a question what size defines a chain and would they like to ban banks, petrol stations and pubs that are all chains too? An idea was advanced that only locally owned shops should be allowed. Such reasoning is oblivious that franchises such as McDonalds are actually independent local businesses too.

Bans on 'formula businesses' has been enacted in thirty communities across the USA to protect the unique identity of towns causing no end of legal challenges though most have not been sustained. Southwold ought to examine these formula business laws to see if any models can be shoehorned into English law. Some challenges were upheld (in most simplistic terms) because US commerce law guarantees certain freedoms to trade. A ray of hope for Southwold could be the new Localism Act of 2011 and the Community Right to Bid. If Southwold Town Council were to register a community interest on every shop or commercial property, then at least it would have first refusal on buying them or taking them over themselves if they came on the market or their occupants threatened to close.

I rather think that Southwold's uniqueness is more made of a lighthouse in its midst, the brewer's horses (oh, those have gone) and the Georgian architecture, which is much more durable than the attrition of shop proprietors, and this uniqueness is very much a construction of the brewer and other tourism interests; the hotels, the pier, the lettings agencies etc., over the last twenty years to position Southwold as a brand apart.

Southwold is not really a town any longer (I can hear the bristling from here) but a resort. Though granted an ancient charter, a local landowner's embankments caused the river and harbour to silt up and by the 1880's it was another depressed fishing village until it was developed by a single company who built hotels, a pier and installed electricity to attract the wealthy to holiday by the sea. Though its fortunes have fallen and risen, it's economic heart hasn't changed much since then. So at the heart of this I think is really a brand war: the conflict between the strength of Costa's brand that could dilute that of Southwold's. So we ought to also look at Southwold's brand values and ask ourselves: whose are they and are they really worth defending? Why are we being called to arms and who will get the spoils of victory? I'm not yet convinced that they will be be shared with everyone or be worth the cost.

For better or worse, Southwold, like its coastal neighbour and rival Aldeburgh, has positioned itself as the place for the "discerning" visitor, which is marketing-speak for rich. This coffee war has elements of class-war and mutual class hatred. An upper-class brand is pitted against a populist brand. The disdain for the ubiquity of Costa is perhaps because there is a lot more of the poor than the rich. To detract from Southwold's uniqueness is to tarnish its brand values as an exclusive playground, which in turn decreases the value of the second homes, the rents for the shops and the prices charged for goods in them. I suspect if there were more casual, 'social space' coffee shops instead of pubs, that might attract more of the less well-heeled traveller, the backpacker, the cyclist, the bus rider and heaven forbid families who can't buy what's in the boutiques or have £75 for lunch but still have a right to park, piss and potter about. Southwold has been accused of snobbery - or should it be put as a wish to maintain an exclusiveness - but I wouldn't accuse the townspeople as a whole of being snobs but some of the visitors are and I dare say some of the generals leading the battle are self-appointed guardians of what is their own particular vision and vested interests in the town. I wonder where they think further economic growth in Southwold will come from, as all capitalist ventures need growth in either demand or market share, where the latter naturally comes at the price of someone else's assets or amenities.


The Costa opponents say they want to keep Southwold's businesses locally owned and it's quite true that local ownership has local benefits. A giant chain has economies of scale in physical resources and manpower that reduce its costs so it generally employs less people and buys more materials and other services from outside the area. We have learned that the coffee chain Starbucks makes a lousy tax contribution to our national exchequer whilst Costa's is much better. In comparing independent grocery cooperatives with chain supermarkets the USA (I could only find US figures) an independent had twice as many employees per million of turnover yet the co-ops were no less profitable or less viable, it's just a different distribution of the profits. With an independent, the costs eating up the profit margin are benefits going to the employees rather than shareholders. Chain stores owned by large corporations are run by distant boardrooms with little knowledge or concern for local issues. It's my personal experience that local independents are far more generous to local charities or community organisations. If you ask them for raffle prizes they are likely hand you an item of slow-moving stock right off the shelf whereas chains (except notably Adnams and the Co-op) direct you to a faceless functionary who makes a paltry offer of 2 for 1 gift vouchers weeks later.

However, coffee shops don't source their beans locally neither do many chains source their food from local farmers which independents might but in reality many independents buy their butter, bacon and milk from Makro or Booker like everyone else. I doubt any of these local businesses owners would really sacrifice their profits and their personal pension pot to hold onto surplus non-family employees if they could run their business just as profitably with less staff. As far as I know only one business in Southwold is a co-op (and the organisation of the weekly produce market is cooperatively run). None of the locals have proposed forming a co-operative cafe to create local jobs, or even to provide training for young people, like Jamie Oliver's 'Fifteen' concept.

No establishment has a right to protection to serve insipid or expensive food and drink. If the customer wants good affordable coffee served in suitable surroundings and isn't finding it, the theory goes that the market will respond to meet the consumers' needs or the customer will go elsewhere. It also stands to reason that the wider the retail choices the customer has in a given place, the more likely the customer will return to shop in that area and so everyone will benefit.

A good range of food and drink in Southwold will benefit the clothing boutiques, the grocer, the music and card shop as well. Southwold's economy is already 'hollowed out', there are either low-skilled, low-wage jobs or a few professional positions but very little relative opportunity for skilled people to make an above average income. Some creative people and businesses have recently moved to Southwold but any local clients are in the tourism sector. Southwold's economy is wholly dependent on the visitor, the wages of the locals can't buy what's in most of its shops. The retained firemen can't afford to live in the town, affecting their response times. The volunteer 'First Responders' plead for more people to volunteer with them but the base population of able people in the town is just too small. Coffee shops are labour intensive and so create local jobs which are scarce in Suffolk, I think young people locally will be thankful for Costa's investment.

Should a Southwold business grow so big, would we demand brakes on its growth? What if Adnams grew as big as Whitbread? Costa was started in 1971 by a pair of brothers who obsessed about roasting coffee to achieve better flavours. Coffee shops beat a path to their door to get a better product than they could find elsewhere. 

The opponents of Costa ought to examine closely the niche they think that Costa wants to fill and see what they or Southwold can do better. Costa is a threat to other Southwold establishments because it makes a very explicit offer to the customer as to what it sells and as I have shown, some of Southwold's businesses fail miserably at doing that. But like any other business, Costa too has to compete for the customer with everyone else. Southwold's establishments can counter Costa by making a better offer. That's the promise of capitalism we're sold. It's through capitalism that people make a killing to buy their second homes in this quaint paradise that these businesses depend on.

I am actually quite pleased that Costa hasn't had an easy ride of this. I hope the resistance has shone a spotlight on the concept of Corporate Social Responsibility for all parties. Starbucks and McDonalds have in certain situations 'de branded' their store fronts so you have to look hard to identify they are a chain. Tesco have established a "family" brand of coffee shops called Harris + Hoole.  If Southwold could enforce the wolf to wear sheep's clothing, it would still appear as if "nothing has changed" in Southwold and their façade would be no more disingenuous than the rest of the story.



This is Costa's retail 'offer' from their website to potential franchisees. How do Southwold's coffee houses match this?


Shop Design


Our property team will work closely with you on the design and build of your Costa coffee shop, ensuring that you create the welcoming environment that Costa is known for. Our iconic counter design, relaxing seating areas, soft lighting, modern decor and branded external facia will ensure that your store provides the reassuring ambience that Costa customers have come to expect.


Costa Coffee


Our Costa corporate franchises offer all the authentic speciality tastes that have become so popular today. These include cappuccino, caffe latte, americano, mocha, hot chocolate and the hugely successful coffee lovers’ favourite – Flat White. Our new lower calorie beverage, Costa Light, is also proving a big hit with customers who like to enjoy a lighter coffee.


Food Range


Our delicious sweet and savoury food range is the perfect accompaniment to Costa coffee and our products are segmented to maximise each day-part opportunity – adding value to your coffee menu and generating additional transaction sales.

Start the day

Your customers can start the day with one of our mouth-watering breakfast treats; granola topped yoghurts, popular toasties, danish pastries or enjoy our fabulous all day breakfast roll.

Lunch time favourites

Think lunch, think Costa! Customers will be spoilt for choice with our lunch range including signature rolls, sandwiches and mouth watering paninis. Health conscious customers can also enjoy a fruity dessert or for those with a sweet tooth, our delicious cake range is second to none!

Carefully sourced, lovingly created

We know that the origin and source of meat is an indication of trust and quality to our customers. We also have the desire to source more locally produced produce and support British agricultural producers. Our poultry, pork and beef is sourced from British farms and we only offer free range eggs in all savoury products – another great reason for your customers to enjoy Costa food.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

A better idea than a balloon release.




You might be reading this because you have been told releasing helium latex or Mylar (even worse) balloons outdoors is a bad idea. If you don't know, well it is and you shouldn't pollute the environment by letting balloons go because they become litter and they can kill animals. Helium is scarce and non-renewable; so it's best left for using in MRI scanners to save lives. Even so called 'biodegradable' latex balloons will kill wildlife and domestic animals and it leaves a mess as it slowly rots. You would get a fine for dropping an apple core, so what's so different about one balloon or hundreds of them?

Here endeth the lesson on that. But you might be a balloon release organiser who have already sold tags and balloons and advertised a balloon release before you learned the error of your ways and to cancel it now would be a downer and you would lose money and lose face*. So what can you do instead?

You can organise instead a balloon hunt. You need exactly the same equipment but I think this way is more fun and it's cheaper too as you fill the usual 12 inch latex balloons with air, not expensive helium. It not based on the Balloon Fight video game but it has that kind of energy and it's probably a bit easier to get people to participate in than a water balloon fight.

What you do:

You attach the tags you've sold which have the buyers' name and address to lots of balloons.

You have people also pay or volunteer to enter the competition to become balloon hunters. They can be teams or individuals going for special prizes too. They could dress up as pirates or cowboys or video game characters to add value to the spectacle for the audience.

INSIDE a gymnasium, hall or whatever indoor space you have, you can set up an obstacle course. They could be gym equipment or just cardboard boxes and mats. It isn't a HSE nightmare.

The balloon hunters line up at a starting position, ideally some way from where the balloons are going to be dropped.

On a signal the hundreds of balloons with tags you have sold are dropped from a net at a height, or if you can't rig that, tipped out with some people to waft boards or use fans to disperse the balloons. The players rush to catch the balloons. Much fun for all ensures in the melee. Players pop the balloons to collect as many tags as they can find.

When filled with air the balloons will be scattered around by the people rushing around to catch and burst as many balloons as they can. The audience can be involved in pushing stray balloons back into the field of play.

The hunters have to collect tags, they could have a bucket or box they deposit the found tags in. One by one the balloons diminish and soon the players are chasing the last few balloons, which are probably the hardest to reach.

After a given time or a signal by the referee, the game stops or when the last balloon is caught. The hunter with the MOST tags retrieved wins a prize and or acclaim. The tag on the LAST balloon found wins a prize for the purchaser, like the furthest balloon traveled or the first one home. The remainder of the tags could be put in a drum and drawn for prizes as a raffle so everyone's a winner.

If you play the game without tags, you can weigh the balloon debris collected to determine the winner.

This game has very strong elements of pursuit and survival which excite the audience and challenge the players. They are also strong metaphors. The players will want to get as many balloons as they can to win so they will want to continue to hunt until the last balloon is found. The raffle entrants are betting that their balloon is the best survivor. Everyone taking part can honour a cause by participating if the game is fundraiser or memorial event. Playing a game as a memorial or to honour people has a history going back millennia. Watching people playing an active game is a much healthier message than just watching balloons go off, as twenty seconds of wonder leads to years of harmful litter.

The obstacles for the hunters to manoeuvre can be simple or complex or not done at all but this adds another element of challenge. You can have "shark infested custard": areas that are off limits to the balloon hunter to step into so if a balloon goes there, they have to use their ingenuity to retrieve the balloon. Jumping and waving of arms and teamwork can be used here to get the last balloons. Random challenge balloons can be introduced too during play. You might set obstacles as a maze or platforms, making a giant video game with other people as adversaries that can 'tag' the hunters and steal their points.

You could set out an obstacle course and enforce that the hunter has travel across it to take each balloon with its tag back to their starting position before getting another. This works if there are only five to ten balloons per player or it can be introduced as a challenge in a second round if you want.

This game would work really well in a swimming pool where the hunters would have to swim to catch the balloons (though pieces of latex might clog the filters - check with your pool).

There are many other ways to vary elements of the game. It's wide open for imagination to keep it fresh every time and place it is played.

Fundraising balloon releases are usually a race to see which balloon goes furthest and requires a kind hearted person to return the tag they find and a wait of several days to declare a winner, if at all. In these days of instant gratification, this game delivers the winners as soon as you want them.

*If you can't change your plans, consider there's nothing more inspiring to others than admitting your mistake and cancelling an outdoor balloon release because of the environmental harm, rather than spin PR that the balloons will be "biodegradable" without strings and so on. To persist with that calumny will perpetrate further and less careful imitations. To admit a painful mistake, before others called you on it, will win admiration for integrity for you and your cause.

Zilch.org.uk offers this eco-friendly alternative to a Balloon Release - the Virtual Balloon Release. 
Have three cheers and on each cheer have everyone raise their arms to the sky.
On the last cheer, as well as raising their arms to the sky everyone keeps their arms up and gazes upwards to consider the what's being celebrated.
The challenge is then to see who lasts the longest in this position.
The final person to have their arms raised is then given a hearty clap when they are unable to hold their arms up any longer.
This would be good for the soul and for everyone's health!
Of course, people could still be holding their balloons, just as long as they weren't to let them go!
You can use the twitter hashtag #balloonrelease for links and info and you can share this page with http://tinyurl.com/balbtr

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Idea for litter prevention scheme


A scheme for raising awareness and the prevention of take-away food litter.




1. On joining the scheme customers pledge to be good citizens about litter to get rewards and an ID card to use with cash purchases.

2a. Participating food vendors offer a lottery draw or point-of-sale discount when purchasing food using payment processing which records their ID e.g. debit cards.

2b. Cash purchases are tagged with CCTV or photo at point-of-sale.

3. Scheme terms and condition include permission to capture data.

4. Food packaging i.e. boxes and cups is marked with unique machine-readable code at manufacturing plant with UV ink.

5. All packaging is passed through a scanner at point of sale and linked to POS transaction data and cctv images or customer ID.

6. Evidence of disposal violations (such as street litter) is collected and scanned for match to sales data.

7a. Customers with ID can redeem any packaging to gain reward points.

7b. Customers without ID (or choosing not to use theirs) can redeem any packaging at point of origin or another branch with reward points going to charity.

8. Evidence of disposal compliance (such as waste receptacles) is scanned for match to sales data.

9. Compliant disposal data is searched for trend evidence and learning.

10. Violation disposal data is searched for match to customer ID and trend data.

11. Customers with record of consistently compliant disposal are entered into a reward lottery or acknowledged with discount coupons.

12. Consistent non-compliance evidence is passed to law enforcement.

13. Identified customers with consistent non-compliance are offered educational interventions rather than prosecution to preserve the vendor brand values.

From: McDonalds Customer Services
Sent: 12 August 2011 16:22
To: Nat Bocking
Subject: McDonalds Customer Services Department Reference: 1182617
Dear Mr Bocking 
Thank you for your enquiry and interest in McDonald’s.
I would like to take this opportunity to explain that at present, we are in the process of reviewing our approach to litter. Regrettably, it remains a social problem for the country as whole as it seems many people still feel it is acceptable to indiscriminately drop litter wherever they choose. Ultimately, this is something that will require long term action toward changing the ‘mind-set’.

Our franchisees and individual restaurants work closely with local schools, youth groups and scout troops on litter education. In addition our restaurant staff carry out regular ‘litter patrols’ in the surrounding areas throughout the day.
In Manchester and Birmingham we employ dedicated litter pickers who walk the streets. In addition we are exploring ways of working with national organisations like Keep Britain Tidy, Keep Wales Tidy and Keep Scotland Beautiful, in an effort to try and tackle this issue together.

We have also made a lot of progress with our packaging suppliers in order to reduce the amount of packaging we use and where possible use recycled packaging, whilst at the same time complying with food safety standards.

Please rest assured that this is an issue which is high on our environmental agenda and one which we take very seriously.

Regards
Natasha Callis
Internet Response Team
McDonald's Customer Services Department
11 - 59 High Road
East Finchley
London
N2 8AW

Dear McDonalds,

Thank you very much for your reply. I hope you appreciate that the diagram I sent you explains how you can change that ‘mind-set’ that is the root of this pervasive problem.

If you had a mechanism to reward compliant behaviour and gently re-educate (rather than punitively punish) litter violators, it would do a lot for your brand and counter your detractors that you are serious about your environmental and social impact.

I do appreciate you have litter patrols but I have witnessed McDonalds litter being thrown away 20 miles from the nearest restaurant in rural Suffolk and so it strikes me the only way to help prevent that is to make the litter traceable to the point of origin. 

Even if the actual purchaser could not be identified, then at least some spatial data about where litter originates and ends up would be useful to McDonalds and the fast-food industry to understand what is or isn’t working in getting an anti-litter message to the customer and such data would assist the siting of waste bins and distribution of litter patrols and so on.

I look to the market leader in McDonalds to consider such innovation as, after over 30 years of operation in Britain, I haven’t seen improvement in the results of your current practise. Making your litter traceable would demonstrate that you had, if you could.

Kind regards,

Nat Bocking


--

I have now entered this idea in the GeoVation Challenge. Please vote for me and make this a reality.

https://challenge.geovation.org.uk/a/dtd/Litter-reduction-lottery/413637-16422 

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Replace CEEFAX please


With CEEFAX gone now there is now even a bigger place for rolling silent news or current affairs programmes accessible with a web browser with pages for national or regional topics for which the BBC is probably the most trusted and capable potential provider.



The pages for this service should be totally automatic, requiring no input from the user unless they wanted to move onto another edition but the longer text items would automatically scroll to read and be automatically refreshed with new items, as Ceefax was. Without the limitations Ceefax had, on this web service, when video or any audio content is played, it should have subtitles over it and be of short duration. There could be a small control to set in preferences for the scrolling text speed, subtitles language and sound always off on launch.

There are many situations where people would like to consume news and current affairs or any other kind of content without screen interaction and without sound. For me, when I am eating my lunch at my desk, I don't want to keep touching the keyboard to move to another story and my co-workers don't want to hear the sound (on some office desktops we don't even have sound). You might want to watch or read something while on the phone or doing the ironing or using a laptop in bed beside a sleeping partner where headphones are inconvenient.  You might be hearing impaired or lying in a hospital bed. A doctor's waiting room could provide a screen to view the service too.

It's important for bandwidth accessibility (and cost) and screen definition and text colour  reasons that this content is delivered as html and is not a page with text streamed as video. It could be much much better than Faux News with subtitles on and sound off.

So I hope this wish list finds its way to someone who will provide it. I know I would use it if I could.